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What happened.
 
What has happened to the so called modern "convenience?" The instant messages, the split second communication? have you ever tried to call a toll free number to get help from a manufacturer?? You dial the number for help, you get a recorded voice that says, "please listen to the menu and choose the appropriate option." You don't want a menu, you just want a real live person. But you must listen to the entire menu, all of the options.
The recorded voice says, "if you would like the accounting department, press one." You just want a real live person to answer your question. "If you know the party to whom ou are calling press in their code number now." You did not call for a party, you didn't know they had codes, you just want a real live person.
 
The voice then says, "if you purchased our product please press the scanner number listed on the package." Scanner, schmanner,,you just want a real live person. The voice then says, "if you would like to talk to a representative please press four on your phone." Oh, you feel like you are making headway. You press the number four, you hear the phone ring, then you get another recording. "If you would like to speak to a representative in English press one, for all other press two."
 
You press one, the phone rings, you feel good, but then you get another recorded message. "All our representatives are busy taking care of other customers at this time, we value your business and your questions. A representative will take your call in the order it was received, please stay on the line." So you wait, you have already spent fifteen minutes getting this far so you can't go back.
 
You could have driven to the company and talked with the president of the company by now...you wait...and you listen to some awful music from the 50"s,,,it is just awful... So you sit and write out your shopping list for the store. You write a letter to your brother, you write a letter to your sister. But then you hear the phone ringing,,you get excited...a man answers the phone, "this is Boris, how may I help you?" But you pressed the number for English and this man has some kind of foreign accent that you do not understand. And you say, "what did you say?"
He repeats what ever he said and you get, "may I help you.?" Oh, yes I was calling about your product for my six year old, may I give it to her full strength?" The man replies in broken English. "You have the wrong department, you should have pressed option eight." "But sir, I was not given the option to press option eight."
 
And in broken English the man says, "well I can connect you to option eight please stay on the line." You wait....you hear the phone ring..someone answers..not a real voice..a recording..."I am sorry this office is closed, our working hours are from 9am to 5pm, please call during working hours." You hear a click, then a dial tone,......you hang up. The neighbors can hear you swearing, crying, yelling, hitting the phone with a hammer. But you don't care. You know that was option nine. You wasted thirty five minutes..your frustration level is off the chart. You flush their product down the drain.
You make yourself a cup of coffee and try to relax. Then the phone rings..you answer...."hello and congratulations, you have just been selected as a privileged person to receive our interest free credit card!" You scream obscenities and slam the phone down..You then hear the mail person. Maybe your magazine came today...but the only piece of mail is your phone bill....Oh, now you know why people drink, why they take medications to calm their nerves. Now you know why they are called cell phones..Because they will drive you to live in a cell with rubber walls...Call me sometime..we will talk...my number is unlisted.
 
LaVon D. Brillhart
 


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