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Welcome to Twiex's blog!

14 Aug 2014 8:28 PM

I think I need to open a franchise of lemonade stands in each of the fifty states because I keep getting lemons served to me - don't even order them.  They're tasty, but they cause me to make funny faces when I eat them - that's no good.  Yep - I think I was hospital bound from the day I was born - have worked for them for 30 years, and just spent another 3 months in the hospital.  Freedom today - officially from my doctor even.  I can go back to work, and I can drive again; granted to me in writing.  So, I get home from the doctor's office (son's been my chauffeur for 2 weeks), eagerly planning my first adventure out of the boundary of walls (hospital and home), and OMG, as I approach my parked car I realize there are two flat tires, and the registration is expired.  Heavy sigh - take a deep breath - deal with the lemons.  Lemonade anyone?

14 Nov 2012 7:00 AM

What an effort just to get from the car to the front door, then to my bedroom.  My life has been turned inside out.  I was so independent.  Took care of my kids and their friends - had a feast here for them every night.  Now my kids have scattered because I cannot take care of them.  Not yet - I'm gonna work at getting my indendence back.  One son moved out.  One went to live with a family who can take care of him until I am well, my youngest is still here, but my ex is also here now, and sad to say, I am dependent on him to take care of William, and also my needs.  It hurts to have to bring him back into my life, but we both have a need to fulfil - he needs a place to stay temporarily, and I need someone who can run to get medications, and do housework for me, because I am still too weak to cook and clean, and I cannot drive at all.  I thought coming home was gonna be exciting, but it kind of has been disheartening.  I am embarrassed to say that when I was doing the one mile walk at the hospital on their machine I found it did not mean I can really walk a mile, it was just building endurance.  I have to use a walker, and I hate it.  I have to have physical theraphy 3 x a week, occupational therapy 3 x a week, speech therapy 3 times a week, an assistant 3 times a week to shower me and do other things needed, and a nurse daily.  This is so not me.  This is so not Twiex.  I want my kids back.  I just want my life back.  I feel so helpless and useless now.  But I can't do this to myself.  I'm just being a baby and feeling sorry for myself.  I should be happy I am still alive. 
I am gonna beat this - but friends I have to face reality, I still have a long ways to go. I swore I would be dancing at the end of it all, and I will, I know I will.  I just have to get used to this new home environment to start my recovery in, chin up and quit blubbering.  As much as I hate it I have to depend on help from others, especially one I have a hard time tolerating.  But, I know God kept me here for a purpose, and I know I have to go back to that hospital and volunteer my services because some of those people have been just dumped there and forgotten, and they are beautiful people, they just need someone to give them some time.  So I gotta sum up my strength, grow some hair on my chest, get a few more "winks from plow" and hugs from my 50s friends, and soon I will be ready to dance to that hospital to do my service. Because, if I am very quiet, and listen closely, I still hear the music, and my feet are ready to start tapping. 

3 Nov 2012 6:34 AM

I have been in the hospital for over two months now.  I have learned to walk again, to swallow without aspirating, and to do activities of daily living again.  I am walking up to a mile a day.  I am getting stronger every day, though I have had a few hurdles to get over.  I know I am going home soon, but I also know I am coming back - by my choice.  The people here are wonderful - patients and personnel alike - and they need help.  Not enough people volunteer their time to sit with a patient and read to them, or feed them, or just paint their nails.  Not enough people who are family and are supposed to care "have the time" to share a meal, or afternoon stroll, or even a sack of burgers from Mickey D's.  I have grown to love these people, and to appreciate them - their are us.  So loving, so appreciative for any little thing, I have been honored to share their past by listening to their stories and learning old time cultures, I will never learn from books, and unlike our kids today they have such beautiful manners and are so caring in return and ready eager to be there for you in your need.  Yes, I am coming back, and I am looking forward to it, and looking forward to seeing the smiles on the faces of my friends when I walk through their doors, just to come and visit - this is going to be so much fun, I can barely wait.

23 Sep 2012 3:13 AM

Since this whole "situation" has occurred, I have noticed a lot of different reactions from a lot of different people (friends, family and acquaintances) and this has been a learning experience in and of itself for me.  My children act very angry whenever I talk to them, and this I understand.  This has changed their whole lives very drastically.  It has brought me closer to my brothers and one of my brother's families.  It has scared my three sisters to where they will  not talk to me directly, only through others in the family.  It doesn't bother me for people to ask me questions, and I will not be offended.  I am still me - I still have my fun loving sense of humor, and I still like to play and tease.  Hopefully my intellect is still intact - haha - time will tell.  Love and hugs all.

22 Sep 2012 4:37 AM

Okay, today I stood 3 x, so I am on my way to recovery - OMG - I sound like an addict - well, I am though, addicted to life.  Pretty soon I will be dancing circles around everyone, and if I pass you by, grab my hand, love to dance and always looking for a dance partner.

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