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24 Aug 2007 11:34 AM
This was in the Adelaide Advertiser back in 2003. I thought it was so funny that I kept it. I have just found it at the bottom of my dusty "never to be thrown away" box and wanted to share it with you all. Perhaps only a dog lover would understand?
Adelaide Advertiser 24/1/03
BAN FOR DRIVER WITH 27 DOGS:
CAMBRIDGE: A 60 year old English motorist has been banned from driving for a year after she was caught behind the wheel with one dog on her lap, four on the front passenger seat, and 22 in the back.
B.B. (thought it only fair not to include her name...just in case) was arrested after refusing to stop for police who saw her sedan veering across the highway. The former social worker was followed for 25 km before she pulled over.
With a cigarette in her hand, a can of soft drink between her thighs, and dogs all over the place, B. told police that she was on her way to take her dogs for a walk on the beach....(the mind boggles...my words!)
She was convicted of driving without due care and attention, and of failing to stop for police.
22 Aug 2007 12:26 AM
Before you criticise someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you do criticise them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what "genius" came up with, "Quit while you're ahead?"
.........and remember, nothing succeeds like a toothless budgie!
20 Aug 2007 8:39 AM
If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disorientated?
If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
If lawyers are disbarred, and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
9 Aug 2007 10:59 AM
Fifty nine today...can just about feel sixty breathing down my neck!!
8 Aug 2007 9:53 AM
THE SENILITY PRAYER
God grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones that I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference. Now that I'm 'older' (but refuse to grow up), here's what I've discovered.
I started with nothing, and I still have most of it
My wild oats have turned into prunes and All Bran
I finally got my head together, now my body is falling apart.
Funny, I don't rmemember being absent minded.
If all is not lost, where is it?
It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.
Some days you're the dog; some days you're the hydrant.
I wish the buck did stop here; I could sure use a few...
Kids in the back seat cause kids.
It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
The only time the world beats a path to your door is when you're on the loo.
If God wanted me to touch my toes, she would have put them on my knees.
Now I can't remember if I already posted this or not....